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Protecting your kids from online predators
Expert offers tips to parents to help keep kids safe while on the internet
MSNBCUpdated: 2:21 p.m. ET Nov. 10, 2005
On the heels of a 'Dateline NBC' investigative report exposing sexual predators who attempted to lure young teenagers into sexual encounters, MSNBC's Alison Stewart welcomed John Shehan from the Center for Missing and Exploited Children to Tuesday's MSNBC Live to discuss how parents can keep their kids safe online.
Shehan, who heads up the center's cyber tip line said that since the program's inception in 1998, they've received over 350,000 reports regarding some sort of child sexual exploitation. Through their work, they've learned that predators have no favorite way to lure children into bad situations.
"There isn't really one specific method. It's really how they can communicate, how they can establish a bond with that child," he said. "It's estimated that 30 million children in the United States are accessing the internet, and it's estimated that one in five children has received an unwanted sexual solicitation while online."
Even with the different methods predators use, Shehan said the cyberworld is attractive because of several reasons.
"It's an entirely different world where anyone can be anybody. They can pose as a friend, a nemesis, they can be anyone they want, and a lot of times the predator is just looking for a child that needs attention. They are quickly there to initiate that conversation and to be a best friend," he said.
Within that anonymous world, the vulnerable are the easiest targets, he said.
"It's dangerous in the fact that while that child is online for hours and hours at a time, they're seeking something, whether it's assurance, whether it's a friend, that child predator is going to be online, they're going to read those online blogs, they're going to be in chatrooms, and they're going to be looking for children," he said.
Shehan noted that there are several things that can be done by parents to keep their kids safe.
"First and foremost, parents need to educate themselves before they can even talk to their children about the issue," Shehan said, noting that most parents know far less about the internet than their children.
According to Shehan, in addition to learning about the problem, supervising children while they are online is key, as is communicating with children.
"As we get through the holiday season with Halloween, I'm sure parents took the time to talk to their children of the real-life dangers with strangers," he said. "But are they taking the time to talk to their kids about the cyberworld?"
Some tips for all ages:
Teach your children to:
- Think before they click: With whom are they chatting or e-mailing, what are they saying and how are they saying it? Will the person on the other end know they are joking?
- Walk away from the computer and “Take 5” before responding to something that upsets them online
- Avoid spreading rumors, assisting in cyberbullying or sharing private communications online.
- Follow the golden rule of cyberspace: Don’t do anything online that you wouldn’t do in real life!
- Install spyware and adware blocking software on your computer
- Make sure you have a working firewall
- Install anti-virus software and update it regularly
- Take advantage of spam-blocking tools offered by your Internet provider or e-mail software
-Use filtering or parental control technologies. Block everything that isn’t pre-approved, rather than just filtering out the “bad” sites.
-Think about whether your children really need e-mail or IM, and if you determine they do: block all communications from anyone other than pre-approved senders and make sure their buddy list is no longer than the age of the child and that you know (in real life) everyone on it.
-Bookmark their favorite Web sites so they won’t mistype them and end up at a “bad” site.
-Use kid-sized search engines such as Yahooligans and Ask Jeeves for Kids.
-Limit their online time to no more than a 1/2 hour a day, unless they have a special project for school.
-Check with their teachers often for suggested Web sites and for recommendations for good resources online.
-Don’t let them use interactive games, such as X-Box Live or Sony Playstation network yet. Try Toontown.com instead.
-Sit down with them as often as possible and find out where they go online, what they like and ask or answer any questions.
-Tell them to get your permission before posting any content, including profiles and blogs, to a Web site or sending it via e-mail or IM.
-Look for safe site lists you can trust. Check out WiredKids.org’s approved safe sites list.
Age 8 to 10
-Raise the bar on filtering or parental control technologies if you find they are complaining or are locked out of school-recommended sites. Or make sure that you use a product that will them send you an e-mail at work to let you unblock a particular site. (MSN has this feature.)
-If you add IM, make sure only pre-approved senders can send your child an IM.
-Use a pop-up blocker or toolbar (like Google’s), an antivirus program and a spyware remover (this begins the age of dangerous downloads).
-Keep using the Yahooligans and Ask Jeeves for Kids search engines.
-Make sure that they understand what information can and can’t be shared online with anyone.
-Practice chatting online with them so they know how to handle strangers they encounter online.
-Consider using a monitoring software to be able to review what they are saying and doing.
-Keep a close eye out for spyware in case they accidentally corrupt the files on the computer. Back everything up!
-Limit online time (aside from special school projects) to under an hour a day (including all IM and text-messaging time).
Age 10 to 12
-Raise the bar on parental controls and filtering programs.
-Start using full-sized search engines with filters applied (check their advanced settings) or use a toolbar (Google’s comes preset with a medium filter).
-Teach them not to divulge personal information and double-check their IM “away messages” to make sure they’re not posting their cell phone numbers there.
-Make sure they can’t share pictures online, or set up profiles or blogs or webcams without your okay.
-Web sites they build should be reviewed carefully, as should screen names.
-Without going into details, warn them against predators – tell them you are concerned about people showing up at the house.
-Give them privacy as long as it is with people you trust.
-Block all but pre-approved senders.
-Interactive games should still be limited to Toontown.com and other kid-approved sites.
-Google their name, screen names, address, and telephone numbers at least once a week. Many kids post nasty things about others at this age.
Age 13 – 15
-Respect their privacy more and talk with them about their online experiences.
-Filter sites that are inappropriate for young teens, instead of blocking all but approved sites. Some bad ones will get through, though. So talk about it beforehand.
-Give them more leeway on people they can accept IMs or e-mails from. But check and account for everyone, in real life, on their buddy list. No friends of friends.
-Make sure you filter or block image searches, which are often a way around many filters.
-Block peer-to-peer technologies and get your kids an account with iTunes or another legal music download site.
-Teach them to guard their passwords. Password theft is a serious problem at this age.
-Teach them not to pirate software or motion pictures.
-Have them Google themselves often: screen names, telephone and cell numbers, addresses, full names, nicknames, etc.
-Try and limit their use of chatrooms to monitored chatrooms or themed chatrooms on safe topics.
-Limit their online use (including text-messaging) to under 90 minutes a day aside from a special school project).
-Keep them out of social network or online dating sites such as xanga.com, friendster.com or match.com.
-Talk to them about not meeting strangers offline, and agree to go with them or teach them large group safe meeting tips (see wiredteens.org).
-Buy girls a copy of “A Girl’s Life Online” (formerly known as “Katie.com”) to read.
-Keep the computer in a central location and watch new interactive devices such as cell phones, text messaging devices and interactive gaming devices, like Xbox Live. Use parental controls if they come with them – Xbox does, for example.
-Consider setting up a teenangels.org chapter, or starting an online safety club at their school. (Visit Internetsuperheroes.org for available free materials.)
Age 16 and over
-All bets are off. If they have earned your trust, give it to them. If not, unplug the computer and take away their cell phones and interactive gaming devices.
-If you haven’t taught them what they need to know by now, we’re all in trouble.
-Focus on teaching them to be responsible cybercitizens and to use the filter between their ears.
-Emphasize again the risks of sharing personal information and meeting strangers offline.
-Make sure they Google themselves often and report what they find.
-Teach them to use anti-virus software, to not believe everything they read online and to respect others. Check for adware or spyware often, use a firewall and teach them to come to you if anything goes wrong online.
-Ask them to help keep their younger brothers and sisters safe online.
-Remind them that you’re still around if they need your help.